Rules for Aging: A Wry and Witty Guide to Life

Rule 1: It doesn’t matter
It doesn’t matter what you do, you will die anyway.

Rule 2: Nobody is thinking about you
People are thinking about themselves, just like you

Rule 3: Let bad enough alone
People belief that persistent clarification after one has  a social blunder will make everything all right. But sometimes, it is better to leave things alone.

Rule 4: Ignore your enemy or kill him
Pay no attention to your enemy, if you still want to, you may want to kill him.

Rule 5: Boo yourself of the stage
If you think your life is not up to your standard, lead the booing yourself

Rule 6: Yes you did
If you have the slightest question as to whether or not you are responsible for a wrongdoing, yes you did.

Rule 7: After the age of 30, it is unseemly to blame one’ s parents for one’s life

Rule 8: If something is boring you, it is probably you

Rule 9: Stay clear of anyone – other than clergyman – who refers to God more than once in an hour
People can misused God’s word for his own benefits

Rule 10: Swine rules
a. A swine is not a swan
A swine will never change, do not treat them kindly and expect them to change
b. A swine is known to be a swine
Everyone knows a swine is a swine
c. When a swine sucks up, he is still a swine.
A swine is a swine all the time.

Rule 11: Listen for the word great
When someone says “Great”, most likely they are not sincere.

Rule 12: Listen for the question, what are you talking about?
When someone asks you that, they know what you are talking about

Rule 13: Appearance is frequently reality

Rule 14: Be not witty; neither shalt thou be clever

Rule 15: Pursue virtue, but don’t sweat it
People will likely to betray, not out of malice, but because of self-preservation

Rule 16: Do not go to your left
Going to one’s left is a basketball term for strengthening one’s weakness. However, life is not like basketball. In life, if you attempt to compensate for a weakness, you will usually grow weaker or fail.

Rule 17: Everyone’s work is magnificent
Everyone wants to believe that their work is magnificent

Rule 18: Consult everyone on everything and don’t’ forget to send ingratiating notes
Most people except your friends and family don’t want you to succeed, but once you consult them for their advices, they will side with you. Later, send them thank you note.

Rule 19: Strife is better than loneliness

Rule 20: Loneliness is better than eggs Benedict
Some people think that hanging out with semi friends will make them feel less lonely

Rule 21: Male and female compatibility rules
a. She’s right
b. She’s really thinking about nothing. 

Rule 22: Run when you hear any of the following sentence
a. Unity and hormony
b. Love, unity and harmony
c. Humanity
d. The human spirit

Rule 23: Never miss an opportunity to do nothing

Rule 24: Do not go for Cyrano’s nose

Rule 25: That couldn’t be a book
From time to time people will respond to an idea and say, “That could be a book”. It couldn’t. Books are made out of big ideas, big themes, Unless your book has these, don’t bother writing one.

Rule 26: Do not keep company with people who speak of careers
These people are not interesting, and have no interest in anything interesting

Rule 27: Just because the person who  you is an idiot, doesn’t make him wrong

Rule 28: Never go to a cocktail party , and in any case, do not stay more than 20 minutes

Rule 29: Envy no one – ever

Rule 30: Believe everyone – always
Believe everyone and you will think that life is well intended

Rule 31: Do not attempt to improve anyone, especially when you know it will help
Telling them of their faults won’t make them change

Rule 32: If they tell you it’s a long shot, it is

Rule 33: Never bring news of slander to a friend

Rule 34: t’s not about you

Rule 35: Never say any of the following
a. That’s the best thing you’ve ever done
b. How much is this boat?
c. My door is always open
d. You look lovely today
e. Why not
f. Do we really need a contract?

Rule 36: If you want to keep a man honest, never call him a liar

Rule 37: The waitress is not waiting for you

Rule 38: Push the wheel forward
Life is more fun when you play at full speed.

Rule 39: Dress for duress

Rule 40: A long and happy life lasts for 5 minutes
Don’t try to sacrifice what you have for a short moment of happiness, it is not worth it.

Rule 41: Never work for anyone more insecure than yourself

Rule 42: The unexamined life lasts longer

Rule 43: No, they don’t – and so what
No one owes you anything

Rule 44: Abjure fame but avoid obscurity

Rule 45: Fast and steady wins the race
Steady excellences, consistent work wins the race

Rule 46: To thine own self be true – unless you would like to be someone else
If you don’t like who you are, you may be right

Rule 47: Culture rules
a. See no movie that has been called exquisite
b. Read no novel that has been called brave
c. Attend no concert that has been called long
d. Attend no opera that begins with the word “Der”

Rule 48: if it’s just a teeny-weeny bit wrong – destroy it
If something is a little wrong, it is all wrong

Rule 49: Never think on vacation
Just don’t think. Keep the mind in its safe and stupid mode, the way you like it when on vacation

Rule 50: Change no more than one-eight of your life at a time
Most people tend to change everything in their lives, when they decided to change. This is unsustainable.

Rule 51: Do not expect gratitude from everybody for everything

Rule 52: Live in the past, but don’t remember too much

Rule 53: Never do it for money

Rule 54: remember the amana
Everyone one of life little mishaps can be kept in perspective if one focuses on one’s original goal

Rule 55: If you are strange enough, they will come

Rule 56: Never light the fire from the top
Never try to achieve things with haste, do not use shortcuts. Embrace the process.

Rule 57: The game is played away from the ball
The more interesting thing in the news (or anything in life) happens behind the scene. When someone achieves great success, that is only 1% of the whole journey, most of it is spent doing the hard work.

Rule 58: Apologise, reconcile and give help

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